Wednesday, May 28, 2008

so you think you can damce?

yes. actually I do.

and the dollar bills will never stop coming my way.

rules to live by.

  1. never settle
  2. brush your teeth
  3. shower at least twice a week
  4. sleep with as many people as possible
  5. get tested
  6. never apologize
  7. dance like there is no tomorrow
  8. if a girl invites you over...go
  9. if a boy invites you over...don't go
  10. forget your pants
  11. get drunk
  12. spend other peoples money before you spend your own
  13. get naked as much as possible
  14. eat meat
  15. paint your nails
  16. pick up the moves
  17. sleep with someone famous and sell it to the tabloids
  18. take naked pictures and put them on your blog
  19. read blogs
  20. talk shit
  21. get into at least one fight a year
  22. get arrested at least once in your life
  23. travel
  24. sleep
  25. practicing having an eating disorder
  26. lie as much as possible
  27. never tell the truth
  28. flirt with your friends boyfriends
  29. make your own money
  30. fast forward during commercials



Saturday, February 9, 2008

Grinding up on that pole

So the mazda is no longer mazda.
The poor girl is scrap metal.
A place for bums to sleep.
She is gone.

She had all my positive memories.
I left the toxic ones in the last car.

Its time to replace her in my parking spot
But not in my heart.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Funny thing about money for sex

Too much booty shakin....

I hope never again to see that much giggle in one leg.

The music was horrible
The people were worse
The drinks were good

After not going out for three weeks....
Tonight sucked?
Let down number 1.

Better luck next time. Someone put some pants on the girl and then make sure she is wearing the right size shoe!

love you bye!

Friday, January 25, 2008

I like it better when it hurts

soooo today went a little something like this.....

First. K and K decide to go to S-Bucks before J gets to the apt for car pool.
I grabbed the trash on my way out trying to be the good roommate that I am.
K locks the door being the responsible roommate and we walk out the door.
I turn around instantly ask
"you have your keys right??""
"are you serious?"
yes you heard it hear first. locked out of the apartment at 6:50 in the AM.
So we think no big deal I had my cell phone we can call security and they can let us in.
Fuck you security.
Can someone explain to me a policy that does not allow anyone to let residents back into their apartment on off hours??? what the fuck is that...locked out and no way in.
So the bitch at security gives us the number to a locksmith with an incompetent troll working the phones.
Troll puts K on hold several times for several minutes and eventually hangs up on us.
Death to Troll.
Call security again. Still wont help
Call back locksmith. Troll says she will call us back.
Now its been about 20 minutes. We decided to go to S bucks and wait for locksmith.
On our way out we seen a man sweeping and ask him if he can let us in.
J shows up.
Man tells us he can not let us in without a permission slip...i had no idea that the walking to building next door was considered a field trip.
Man tells us he will go get his supervisor...15 minutes later still not back.

Its time for plan B.
K calls security and tells them our toilet is over flowing and to please send someone. they agree and have no idea we are not actually in the apartment.
So we go to our hall way. still lacking in coffee
We wait and wait and wait.
30 minutes later....what if the toilet was really over flowing...idiots.
K calls troll and tells her she sucks and needs to talk to whoever is above her.
thats no one because she only know how to answer phones
The trolls driver calls 45 minutes...fuck off

Its time for plan C.
"Dad, do you know anyone who can pick a lock??"
"um no why"
Dad says he will take care of it.
2 minutes later phone rings.
New locksmith, no troll
She gets my address and says it will be 20 minutes.
Dad says he will pay...thanks!

5 minutes later:
one man
one towel
one hose?
how do you fix a toilet with one towel.

anyways. he knows who we are and is confused on why we are sitting in the hall.
we told him we are locked out
he goes and gets the keys.

comes back.
"is there anything wrong with your toilet?"
"uhh no?"
"you liars"

in the apartment: 8:10

call Dad cancel the locksmith. thanks love you byeeee!!!

Dance it off.

Panera Bread.yummm
Peets coffee.double yummm

head for LA....9:45

school started at 8:30


Saturday, January 19, 2008

Round 2:

It's that time of the year clothes.

New Favorite Place:
Whole Foods in Tustin

New Favorite Drink:
Arizona Diet Green Ice Tea

New Favorite People:
Santa Ana bums

Least Favorite People:
The ones that steal

Least Favorite Noise:
Ike and Tina who live in 416

Attn Everyone: Please stop wearing tube tops.